Never A Dull Moment
by waterrain
Summary: Russia finds America's actions, words, and everything else to be amusing. There is never a dull moment with America. At times Russia would love to hit America over the head with his pipe, but sadly he can't seem to find it or America dodges it completely
1. Photo Shopped

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Never A Dull Moment**

**By Waterrain**

"You know what I mean Russia?" America asked carelessly and he tilted his head looking into Russia's violet with big blue eyes.

He ignored Russia's tense smile, violet eyes that have darkened, and a fist clenched tightly.

"I do not understand. Please explain, da." Russia commented innocently and silently wondered where he had placed his pipe.

"Alright, I really wish there was a female president cause that would be totally new and interesting. Seriously so far all male and it's pretty boring. Anyway, I'm upset you have a female president seriously not cool. I wanted to have a female president before you, Russia." America said in a sulking tone and his cheeks were puffed out.

"My boss is male. Are you calling him a woman?" Russia asked tensely and he noticed America's wide smile.

"Heh, I photo shopped him and made it where he had a dress on. It was really fun along with being funny." America stated calmly and happily. He completely ignored Russia's question and smiled at him where all of his white teeth were showing.

"What do you mean." Russia said slowly and his violet eyes narrowed in suspicion as he wondered why on earth America would do such a thing, but then again he is America.

"I posted that photo on my blog, facebook, twitter, myspace, and several other sites." America commented cheerfully and he gave Russia a thumbs up. "I did the same thing to everyone else's boss too and posted them up. Yep the same pink cocktail dress!"

Russia stared at him as if he was a complete idiot before shaking his head and sighing to himself while America smiled at him.

"Did you do the same to your boss's photo?" Russia asked in a curious voice and he heard America's excited giggles.

"Yep because I wanted everyone to be equal and all that stuff. Plus didn't want to have boss left out or left behind." America stated happily and he blinked in surprise for Russia was smiling.

"When did you post up those photo's?" Russia asked innocently and he was no longer upset with America.

"Hmm about thirty minutes ago." America replied calmly and he tilted his head. "Why do you ask?"

"Has your cell phone ringed?" Russia asked him and he watched as those blue eyes blinked for a moment.

"I don't know because I had it on silent." America stated flatly and then decided to check his cell phone. Russia had a strong feeling that America more than likely has missed a lot of calls, angry voice messages, and so on.

"You received calls, da." Russia commented causally and he watched as America pushed something that was under the desk.

"I have over 300 missed calls and man I have about 500 missed texts. Jeez, I got about 245 voice messages." America told him careless and he sighed to himself. Russia watched as America crushed the cell phone with ease in his strong grip and then a loud voice was heard from outside of the door.

"America! You bloody idiot! How dare you photo shop the royal family and my government people in pink cocktail dresses!" England yelled angrily as he pounded his fists against the door and swore colorfully. Russia blinked his violet eyes while America's blue eyes sparkled and he snickered to himself.

"Heh, I couldn't help or stop myself from going to such lengths for England." America said cheerfully to Russia and he added calmly. "Don't worry for everyone else I only photo shopped their bosses and put them in pink cocktail dresses."

America opened up his window and then turned briefly to Russia.

"Alright, the helicopter is here. Later Russia." America commented smoothly before jumping out the window, Russia watched, and noticed that America was holding onto a rope that was hanging from the helicopter.

"I never can understand him. However America is rather amusing and interesting, da. Never a dull moment with him." Russia said to himself and he heard America's door fall.

"Where is America?" England asked bluntly and his cheeks were red as cherry's. Russia lips curled up into a twisted smile, he walked closer, and then looked at him with bored violet eyes.

"No idea." Russia stated simply and he left England cursing violently.

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	2. Made To Say Sorry About the Photo's

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Never A Dull Moment**

**By Waterrain**

America's arms were crossed and he was wearing a short pink cocktail dress along with having on black heel high shoes. His lips were a dark red, dark blue eye shadow on his eye lids, and black mascara on his eyelashes. Along with having a black choker and his nails painted pink.

"I'm sorry about the whole photo shopping you guys into a pink cocktail dress." America stated dryly and he gave his Boss an annoyed look. "Jeez, Sensitive much?"

England, Russia, Japan, China, and their Bosses were on four separate computer screens. America was staring blankly at the screens and wondered why he had to say sorry for something so tiny.

"America, Why are you in a dress?" Japan asked calmly and his Boss was by his side looking confused.

"My Boss made me…To humble me or something, but more or less humiliate me." America said cheerfully and his smile was forced. "However it will not work for from now I'm going to dress like a whore every single Monday. I'm not a prostitute because I don't get paid."

America's Boss sighed deeply and shook his head.

"I'm sorry about America." America's Boss stated calmly and he added. "He did not think before making those type of photos or when he posted them up."

"It is okay." China commented causally and he glanced at his Boss. "I'm sure America didn't mean any harm and it caused no damage. Besides he did the same thing to everyone. "

"He photo shopped pink cocktail dresses on the royal family along with the government." England snapped angrily and his Boss just sighs.

"All is forgiven and the royal family had laughed about it." England's Boss stated calmly and England sulked.

"America, I think if you became a prostitute that you could make money. However you would be more than likely rather unskilled and they would want a refund, da." Russia commented innocently and his Boss covered his face for why did Russia say that to America. "If you get down on your knees and beg for my help. I might help you with your money problems, da."

"Fuck you, Russia. I'm not ever going to sell my body to you. As if I would ever get down on my knees to beg for money from you out of all Nations." America snapped angrily and his blue eyes were flashing.

"You beg money from China, da. Why not from me?" Russia said smoothly and he tilted his head while smiling.

"Go to hell, Commie and I don't care that your no longer a communist." America said cheerful, he forced a smile onto his lips, blue eyes started to fill with tears, and he clenched his fists angrily while glaring at the screen that had Russia along with Russia's Boss in it. "You have no fucking idea how damn hard I try jackass. People always blaming me and never being good enough. Damned if I do and Damned if I don't!"

America walked towards the doors and slammed them open while tears silently fell down his flushed cheeks. He tried to calm down, but it didn't work and America looked at the Security guard.

"Hey, guys. Can one of you take me home because I'm in no condition to drive." America stated bluntly and he managed to blink away his tears. A security man nodded and then asked him 'Do you want to change into a different outfit'. America shook his head and at least he had thought to use water proof mascara. One of the security men guided America towards a vehicle and drove him home. The trip was quiet unlike the normal ones in which America is cheerfully talking and smiling brightly. The security man asked him 'What is wrong' and America replied 'I'm tired of being made to say sorry and humiliate myself. Half the times I'm not even really sorry and I don't really believe in fake apologizes.'

"I'm sorry about America." America's Boss said calmly and he sighed deeply to himself. Japan, China, and England wondered why America's Boss was saying Sorry for clearly Russia deserved those words.

"He is the melting pot, da. So of course America would have some mental, emotional, and so on problems. I believe he is quite bi polar, but it is okay for at least America is not dull and boring." Russia commented innocently and cheerfully. England, China, and Japan all sighed heavily while shaking their heads for Russia was the pot calling the kettle black.

'It is never a dull moment with America.' Russia mentally thought and he wondered why America had tears in his eyes.

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	3. A Gift From America

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Never A Dull Moment**

**By Waterrain**

"America, Why did you have tears in your eyes last week?" Russia asked America and he ignored the current outfit that America was wearing.

"It was from the dust. " America stated flatly and he sighed to himself.

"Dust? Why would there be dust-" Russia started to ask curiously, but America interrupted him.

"Because the people who did the cleaning did a crappy job, but yet got paid a lot of money." America commented carelessly and he gave him a brief glare. "I was not crying. As if you could ever make me cry, Russia."

America wore a black mini skirt with a small white apron, high heeled black boots, and a short sleeved dark blue shirt. He wore bright red lip stick, white eye shadow on his eyelids, and had mascara on his eyelashes.

"America, You do not make any sense." Russia stated smoothly and then he sighed to himself. America laughed dryly and shook his head.

"Yep, I get told that a lot and my Boss says that all the time." America said calmly and he suddenly smirked at Russia. "Anyway, I got you a gift."

Russia blinked at the gift that America placed firmly onto his hand and he tilted his head in confusion for why did America give me a gift.

"Why?" Russia asked in a curious voice and his violet eyes were focused on America's blue ones.

"For your words last week." America commented cheerfully and he kept back a snicker for Russia will not like the so called gift at all. Russia started to slowly unwrap the gift while America was slowly backing away and he quickly took off his high heeled boots. After all one can not run really well in high heels whether they are shoes or boots.

"America why does this book have drawings of my Boss and Italy's Boss doing things that are rather odd?" Russia asked in a confused voice, America snickered to himself, and glanced back at Russia for a moment for he decided to be nice.

"There is a letter on the back of the book and I made it personally, Later." America said quickly as he opened the window and jumped out of the two story building. His landing was that of a cat, he run away laughing cheerfully, and feeling quite content with the world.

Russia blinked to himself and then looked at the letter that was located on the back. His cheeks were flushed, violet eyes darkened, and he clenched the book tightly while frowning.

_Russia,_

_This is a picture book is basically about 'if' Your Boss and Italy's Boss were to have intercourse also known as sex along with 'if' they were dating._

_Love From America_

_PS I'm long gone by now and enjoy the trauma, Commie_

America smirked to himself as he climbed inside of his private jet and begun to fly back to The United States Of America while humming cheerfully.

"Revenge is so very sweet." America commented happily and he had already mentally erased the drawings that he had made in the book. "Heh, I bet Russia is pretty pissed off."

Meanwhile Russia burned the book and he decided on having a lot more Vodka to erase what he had seen in the book that America had personally made.

"America was very disturbing with that book he made about my boss and Italy's Boss, da." Russia muttered to himself and he opened up a bottle of Vodka. "I'm not too sure if all the Vodka in the world will erase those drawings. America's gift was not a very good or nice one."

"Russia, I'm going to be meeting with-" Russia's Boss started to say, but then broke off when he saw Russia looked at him with wide violet eyes.

"Boss, I do not want to see you right now. I need to drink lot's and lot's of Vodka, da." Russia stated bluntly and he pushed his boss slightly. "Good luck and wish me good luck too. See you tomorrow, da."

Russia's Boss nodded in confusion and he silently wondered what was wrong with Russia, but decided against asking and left him alone. Russia felt rather sick, he shook his head trying to clear away the drawings, and started to drink his Vodka while mentally thinking about hitting America on the head with his pipe.

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